Shevine- More Than a Bromance



I'm boring idk okay
  

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sabsstabs hiiiiii
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everythinperfect asked: Post a selfiieeeee

ohh I was literally just planning on doing it and was asking for advice on which one. There’s three potential and I can’t choose ugh

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Hey friends

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aech2044:

shevinefeels:

aech2044:

shevinefeels:

aech2044:

shevinefeels:

aech2044:

shevinefeels:

I am very grumpy

And that’s new?

ugh

That was mean of me. I apologise.

Seriously though, what’s wrong?

Today was a bad day

Bad day how?

Everyone was so angry and in a bad mood and it put me in a bad mood and then I saw a counselor who threatened to expel me (without any legal ground or my doing something wrong whatsoever) and that was bad and ugh

Wow. Why’d they threaten you with that?

well fuck okay let’s get down into it sure.

I was cutting and a close teacher I trust found out and yeah long story short, I gave her the thing bc I didn’t want to do it anymore and then she went and gave it to a counselor who then said she would expel me because of it and yelled at me for like 20 minutes so apparently self harm is a punishable offense at my school idfk but yeah okay

TL;DR she’s a bitch

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parekhcece is it because I accidentally made us go to third base
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Artist: Lady Godwarrior

tyleroakley:

andrewpresents:

Lady Godwarrior | 'Jesus'

In semi-unrelated music news, let me present to you ‘Jesus’, a mashup that is so bad it’s brilliant. I would like to personally thank who ever decided to mash up Lady Gaga’s out space opera ‘Venus’ with the vocal stylings of Marguerite Perrin, aka the God Warrior from the hit television show Trading Spouses. If you’re unfamiliar with Marguerite’s poetic masterpiece, don’t fret, because you can watch her full monologue in all its glory here.

JUST KEEP LISTENING.

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It’s like you tell a few people you’re bi sexual and then you get texts like this jfc
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aech2044:

shevinefeels:

aech2044:

shevinefeels:

aech2044:

shevinefeels:

I am very grumpy

And that’s new?

ugh

That was mean of me. I apologise.

Seriously though, what’s wrong?

Today was a bad day

Bad day how?

Everyone was so angry and in a bad mood and it put me in a bad mood and then I saw a counselor who threatened to expel me (without any legal ground or my doing something wrong whatsoever) and that was bad and ugh

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aech2044:

shevinefeels:

aech2044:

shevinefeels:

I am very grumpy

And that’s new?

ugh

That was mean of me. I apologise.

Seriously though, what’s wrong?

Today was a bad day

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aech2044:

shevinefeels:

I am very grumpy

And that’s new?

ugh

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I am very grumpy

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speakeasytherapy:

allkillernofiller:

accidentally bumps into someone

image

"you don’t have to keep apologizing" 

image

(via levine-with-a-splash-of-insanity)

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One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
-

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via dorkvader)

obsessed with this

(via losingfatfindingfit)

I want a guy to fuck me like this.
I want to fuck the dad who wrote this.

(via lovelaughtersex)

(Source: internmarlee, via takshammy)

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goodnight buttheads

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alitamponsi- of what..? The clothes in a pile on the floor? My pajamas? whaaaT do you waaant